In a way, I sort of like it. I’ve always hated the idea of chivalry — the idea that women required certain treatment of men. I still hate the idea. But I had a friend tell me, when I was with my ex, “If he wants to buy you that damn Coach purse, let him.”
So I’ve slowly eased up on my “rules.” I backed off, and I’m still backing off. But only on the condition that “he” — whomever “he” may be — eases up as well. If I want to open the door for him or if I want to buy dinner, I want him to let me.
I don’t want there to be this idea that I can’t contribute to an equal and healthy relationship. I want to be on the giving as well as the receiving end of respect and love, in all aspects of things.
I’m really excited to see where things go with this new guy. When I told him I wanted to pay for my own dinner, his response (after a bit of thoughtful discussion) was, “I asked you out. When you ask me out, you can pay.